I know it’s been a really long time since I checked in. But my life’s taken another turn and I find myself beginning a new phase of life. Sometimes I think my life is so compartmentalized. I love it and hate it. On one hand it allows me to recreate myself and gives me the chance to discard or shed parts of my life I would have liked to change. On the other side, however, I miss the comfort of my old life. The feeling of being sheltered from the worst this world puts people through.
One thing that still hasn’t changed is that I was lonely then and I am lonely now. I haven’t had a real friend in 4 years and I miss being able to hold a conversation I want to have with people. I have to just listen to the shallowness of other peoples drivel and accept them for who they are and never expect more. I guess we’re all hiding behind our respective facades – being cool and friendly and happy. We don’t want to share what’s really on our mind, because, God forbid, what if we don’t like each other? I know Im droning.
Ive read quite a few books but Im not going to post about them right now. Its 2 in the morning and I don’t think Im going to get much sleep. I moved to the States in December 2014. I just want to share some pictures for now. And wallow in self-pity because I don’t have the kind of friends I want and because I am lonely. I need to get over myself.
This is where I live. In a small college town called Winona, in the middle of nowhere Minnesota. I’m in love with the place. Although I have always considered myself a city girl, and I’m not sure how long I can live here in the quiet, this place has made space in my heart and I love it already. This is the place I will call home. More pictures to come later. I am going to try and get some sleep. Class at 8 in the morning! Cheers.