Special Occasion Speech Part 1

So in one of my classes, I have to give a special occasion speech on some imaginary event. Contrary to american culture, we don’t do speeches back home. I dont know what to do or where to begin or what to give a speech on. Not only did I realize that I have a shortage of friends, but I realized I had nothing of value to contribute. These days my life is pretty turbulent. Understandably. I’ve moved to a country where I am surrounded by strangers. People I feel like I have no choice to be friends with even though I barely get along with. I also realized that my tolerance for bullshit is pretty high. Also for stupidity. I dont mind a whole lot of bullshit for a bit of friendship in return. No doubt I am surrounded by children. But then what did I expect being 29 and returning to college. I just wish I didnt have to deal with assholes or idiots all the time. I enjoy learning.

Anyways back to the speech. Im going to attempt to write it here in public and see what sticks.

Ok so rules:

  • General guidelines:
    • Usually more formal language used – this hopefully I can do
    • Literary devices may be used – wtf does this even mean!?
    • Manuscript/memory as a mode of delivery
    • Theme – Repetitive Format – we are supposed to have a “theme”.. I’m thinking “Tree”
    • Focus on occasion/audience/situation – well its supposed to be sad. I get it.
    • What’s appropriate? What’s not?
    • Use Specific Examples
    • Don’t make it a listing exercise

And since I’ve decided to do a eulogy for a non-existent grandfather:

  • Celebrate the essential character of the person – person’s virtues, not accomplishments – since a “tree’ so supportive (strong, gave us strength), sheltering, Tree of Life? maybe (my grandfather must have been one cool guy) , wise. OH MY GOD FAMILY TREE!
  • Cite specific examples that illustrate the virtues – jeez how am I going to spin this into the speech?
  • Positive in tone
  • Magnify the person’s strengths, minimize weaknesses
  • Limit personal references

Im not generally an effusive person, so I don’t have much. Just this. But I have to try. I have to get an A in this course. Because. I have to. And because Im Asian. Its expected of me.

Now let me Google some samples of eulogies and rip the introduction off of one of them.

“In the end, its not the years in your life that you count, it’s the life in your years.”

“A limb has fallen from the family tree that says grieve not for me remember the best times, the laughter, the song the good life I lived while I was strong.” Stanley Barlow. OMG this fits perfectly.

Ok continue.

Ok I’ve got nothing.

The rest is in the next speech. Dog tax attached.


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