There’s a name for people like me. I’m an Escapist.

“The definition of an escapist is someone who escapes from reality and retreats into fantasy.”

That’s me. That’s who I am.

I live in a world I’ve built in my head. Suffice to say I have a very active imagination. Meet me in real life and you will never be able to tell that I live a lot of my life in my head; this dream world I escape into so I don’t have to deal with reality. It’s not that my life in real is horrible or not worth living; it’s just a habit I formed as a child when my life really truly was horrible and I just wanted an escape into a life I dreamt up.

The fantasies themselves have changed with time. They’ve grown old with me. They become what I feel I need at the time. Successful job!? BAM! New dream! Head of animation at Pixar?! No big deal! Big ass games designer!? I own the world and am a billionaire. I dream it all whenever I need it. Whenever life seems to become too much to deal with, I retreat into my world. Broken hearts, major life changes, death of friends and loved ones, that’s how I deal with things.

I don’t know if this is normal honestly. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who does these things or if the majority of this world in living in a fantasy they’ve all created in their heads that they escape reality by. Or if somewhere in my childhood, I been so damaged that I just stopped living in this world and retreated into the safe haven in my mind where nothing is real except for my fantasy and if everyone goes on living their lives like regular people firmly grounded in reality.

I have a feeling I am not the only one who does this. I mean if you consider it, someone had to coin the term “Escapist” right? So there must be a whole bunch of people out there (if not everyone) who deal with life in the same way?

It’s a lot like the movie Matrix then? Take the red pill and come to terms with the harsh reality of your life sucking by the worlds standards; take the blue pill and remain in your fantasy world. So are we all just living in our own little pods, completely isolated from another by our minds? Or are just some of us isolated from the rest of the world? Is this way of dealing with things the best method of getting through life? People say “You’re not really living life” but then I look at things in another way. I am better at moving on when it comes to things that really damage you. People can’t move on for years from anything that hurts them. Me? I just check out the back door and step into my mind. I think it’s a better way of dealing with difficult situations without self-destruction or destroying everything in your wake. Be it grief. Be it heartbreak. Be it anything that shakes your life’s foundations. I stabilize by checking out and then slowly sliding the door open and dealing with things. Or maybe I just don’t deal with them. Maybe I just shut the lid on them while I’m living my fantasy life and never think about it again. I don’t think repression has really caused me any harm. Except that it’s made me delve deeper into my mind at times.

Is there a right way and a wrong way to live life? There are so many questions. Wish I had someone who would answer some of them.

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