Shit hit the fan

So that’s literally the best explanation for what my life has been like for the past month. Beyond stressful. And I am only preparing myself because I know it will only get worse. My parents swooped in to save my ass but I can’t do anything more than this. I can’t keep putting them through shit. I wasn’t put on earth to make their lives more miserable than they already are.

I failed last time and my parents had to live with me being labeled a failure even by the closest members of my family. I won’t let it happen again so I am going to fight it. I am going to have to beyond tighten my belt. Survive on no more than one meal a day. And I can’t even think about shopping ever again because I just cannot afford to live.

Financially tightening the belt wont be enough. I have to work on other parts of my personality too. I need to put in more time into studying. I am doing that already but more needs to be done. Studying isn’t everything. There is other work and other things that need mental effort and physical effort. I need to plan and sort. I need to think about things I don’t want to so they don’t come and bite me in the ass later. Things like getting ID made, things like mailing something, posting something, selling something. Things like getting jobs online and making some money doing freelance. I’ve always believed, making money is easy. I need to show it to the world now. That living over here, under such dire conditions, I can still make ends meet without asking for anyones guidance except for my parents.

I’m learning about capitalism in my Introduction to Sociology class. More thoughts on this later…however, money is a bitch. It makes things go around.

My parents say that a great man once said “If you see a rich man, know that he has taken someones right away to become so.”. I look at this. I see dramas and TV shows and now I do think to myself. These people they have kids who spend money, belonging to their parents, recklessly; people flaunting power and destroying peoples lives. Do you think it doesn’t happen in real life? Do you think it doesn’t happen because you are sitting in a nice cozy warm chair, with the thought that your bank account is loaded enough to give you the cushy life you deserve? Or do you just not-think?

Money is the cause of all problems. I only realized it when I didn’t have any. Otherwise I wouldn’t have cared either.

2 thoughts on “Shit hit the fan

  1. Mixu says:

    Oh boy 😦 I had no idea so much was happening, I’m glad things have sorted, you’re always in my prayers, I hope life gets easier In shaa Allah ❤

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