I believe that every time a person opens their mouth and speaks; or picks up a pen and writes; or converses and passes information in any way, they let a part of them escape. No matter how hard they try to hide it. Behind fictional words, behind humor, behind body language; the truth peeks out. Shows what people really think. Show people who they really are. Show what motivates them.
I don’t know if I am the only one who can see this or if there are others who are as perceptive about these things as I am.
Every flick of the hair, every light touch to the arm, every sneaky look, every word they say. It’s like people are open books that I can just read whenever I feel like. And it’s not like I’m overconfident, smug or conceited about this ability. Even I give out the same information every time my mouth opens. Even without knowing people know that I know what makes them tick. Most people get scared of me. No one likes me looking into their heads. They attribute it to intelligence. But is it really intelligence? I don’t know what it is. Sometimes I wish I couldn’t see it. Sometimes I pretend I don’t. Sometimes I don’t. Maybe I would actually like people if I didn’t see how selfish they are. Or how stupid.
I can see who people are when they write, when they do the things they do when they think no one is looking, or when they think no one is paying attention, or when they think they have power over someone else. I have started to meet so many evil people who truly believe their actions are inconsequential; people who like to cause pain in small ways, that I’m starting to think that most humans are assholes. People think you don’t notice when they’re being jerks. I notice it and I call them out over it. I notice when the way a person talks to me changes. I notice when the way they look at you changes too.
And I notice when someone notices me. I notice when someone catches me before I can hide my emotions behind my mask. And I have total respect for people who put me through the same x-ray vision and see right through me and see the person that I am when I am caught defenseless. People who look at me and can tell what I am thinking. They are so few and far between that I feel drawn towards them.
At one point I thought I was the only one who could do that. Overtime I realized it came to me by way of my mother and I have met this one other person so far for whom all it takes is one look. How their mind works and what motivates them, what drives them, what their intentions are and what they want from their environment. Everything is right there. Or maybe it is just the plain old matter of someone paying attention.